So
this past weekend was Cinco de Mayo, an American holiday that
celebrates margaritas, burritos and drunken tomfoolery. What, you
thought it was about a Mexican military victory against the French?
Interestingly, the holiday is much more widely celebrated in the U.S.
than in Mexico, thanks mainly to beer commercials and clever marketing. A
dear friend of mine of Hispanic descent brought up several good points
on the subject and got me thinking about dealing with cultural
sensitivity, or insensitivity, as the case may be.
When
I first moved to San Francisco, I worked with a woman who made a big
impression on me, though not necessarily in a positive way. She had a
personal mission to point out every instance of what she perceived as
racism in her day-to-day interactions with the intention of making
people more aware and sensitive to their words and actions. She took
particular delight in calling me out (presumably because I was from the
South) every time I mentioned race, ethnicity or culture. Her approach
was something like this: “Why did you say that just now? Was the fact
that the man was black important to the story, or are you just fostering
latent racism?”
Needless
to say, she and I butt heads often. I would immediately go into defense
mode since no one - least of all me - wants to be called racist, but
also because I thought her reasoning was flawed. What’s wrong with
noticing that people are different from you? Racism is certainly still a
problem in this country, I agreed, but being blind to race and culture
is hardly a solution.
To
this day, when I think of this lady’s seemingly personal vendetta
against my “racist” Southern ways, my blood boils. But five years later,
I have to admit that she had a point.
Fast
forward to Cinco de Mayo 2013. My aforementioned friend made the point
that dressing up “like a Mexican” was incredibly offensive, brought on I
suspect by this photo posted on a Facebook event page:
This
started something of a Facebook debate concerning why lumping a number
of cultural and racial stereotypes into a costume is problematic, with
which I couldn’t agree more. It’s one thing to dress as a historical
figure or cultural icon such as Che Guevara or Emiliano Zapata, but
quite another to dress up “as a Mexican.”
But
she and I got to talking about the best way to raise awareness to such
stereotypes and yes, latent racist attitudes that many Americans foster.
When one is personally offended by another's words or actions, it’s
difficult to approach the situation calmly to point out the offense.
However,
as I learned with my former coworker many years ago, it’s also very
difficult to be on the other side and have your actions or words
criticized or even worse, to be called racist. And
while I like to think racism in this country is dying with each
generation, cruel stereotypes and ignorance are alive and well. The
trouble is recognizing it and correcting the behavior without launching
into attack or defense mode.
On
one side, you have people who throw up their arms and yell “Offense!
Racism!” at every joke or comment to the point of exhaustion. On the
other side, you have those who either have no clue when it comes to
interacting with other cultures, or feel PC-ed to death and resistant to
any notion of cultural sensitivity. Personally, I’ve been on both sides
of the fence.
Political
correctness is much more lax in the South, so most people - even those
who in no way would consider themselves racist - don’t realize when
they’re saying something terribly insensitive. Here in San Francisco,
people can be not only be overly-sensitive, but also incredibly
impatient when it comes to others lack of insight and sensitivity.
As
always, it’s that middle ground we’re most in need of but also proves
to be most elusive. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could engage in a
legitimate conversation about race and stereotypes without one or both
parties becoming offended or self-righteous?
For
my part, I’m trying to understand issues from viewpoints other than my
own, even those that to me seem flawed, and avoid initial knee-jerk
opinions. But also, I’ve got to learn not to let my feathers get ruffled
so easily when someone makes an insensitive or ignorant comment
regarding my hot-button issues.
Perhaps this exercise in understanding and patience is a lesson we could all stand to study a bit further.
